Sesshoumaru's Birthday! :D
by Sadak0
Summary: Categorised as a tragedy because this story, after you read it, is a tragedy. Rated R because I write naughty things. Sesshoumaru's birthday. Who knows how old he is? His lover is quirky. Poor man.


Uhh, yeah, I don't really know why the hell I'm writing this. Kind of bored, I guess, and the idea just popped into my head! So yes. First off, I'm going to explain some things so you'll get what's going on, instead of being just thrown into the story, reading, and then going "wtf."

Sadako is a cat demon, who just happens to be Sesshoumaru's lover. I guess you could say "boyfriend and girlfriend"? But it seems odd in the Feudal Era to use that term, so like I said, lover. Don't get all worked up, I do have a background worked out but I don't feel like writing or explain it. That's just about all you need to know about it though. Sadako is a horny little bugger too. Well, perverted anyways. But yes. You get it. Anywho, enjoy the story. At least try to laugh.

I don't own Inuyasha or any related materials plz. This is really going to suck. Please DO NOT REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW MUCH IT SUCKS, I'M BORED AND FELT A NEED TO UPLOAD. Seriously. Do not review.

             A groan erupted throughout sleepy house, cracking the silence like an egg that had just been through quite a nasty beating. Perhaps it was beat professionally by an eggbeater, or perhaps some novice had just slammed the egg against the sharp edge of a bowl to reveal the luscious yolky center. Either way, a certain Demon Lord of the Western Lands was stirring under his mahogany wood upholstered canopy bed. His tousled silver hair lay strewn across the bed, off the bed, and over the face a certain lover of the Demon Lord of the Western Lands.

            "Ahhh, fuck, Sesshy, get your freaking hair out of my face!"

            Sesshoumaru moaned as he rolled around to look the whiner in her mocha optics, his own amber orbs half-opened in fatigue. It was still dark out. The sky was still blooming with stars. "Gods… what in the name of… dammit, what time is it?" He grumbled and rubbed his eyes with his clawed hands. His groin felt kind of wet, too.

            The other figure moved up in bed and smiled as she shook her long black locks around wildly, her eyes flashing in excitement. She mewed and licked her lips. Was there something white on them before? "Time for somebody's birthday!!" she cried out, hopping up and down on the mattress, causing the demon lord to follow the bed's movements. He moaned, disgruntled, and she stopped, giggling.

            He sighed and shook his head. "Fine, whatever," he said dully, his eyes closing again. "You get my little 'birthday bash' ready. I'll be… here. Getting ready. Now go away, Sadako."

            "Nyaaoo, you're no fun, Sess," the cat demon purred, standing on his muscular chest now. She then hopped off after smiling evilly and cart wheeled out of the room, snickering happily, her nightgown flowing behind her. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and sighed.

            "Sometimes I do not wish to understand that woman."

            He let out another groan and erected his figure as he climbed out of bed, stretching. He looked down and blinked. I_'Why am I not wearing clothes…?'/I _He shrugged and threw around his head, tossing about his long, luscious platinum locks. He looked kind of like a super model as he did it, and somewhere, a legion of fangirls drooled and swooned over his naked body. He slowly walked to his pre-filled bath, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Jaken always re-filled it after it was used every morning. He yawned again, scratching the back of his head, looking down at his nude form. He still couldn't figure out why he wasn't wearing clothes when Sadako was. Suddenly, it hit him.

            "Oh, fuck. Was I sleeping and she… dammit."

            He knew why. The horny little bitch most likely sucked his cock while he was sleeping. She couldn't get enough of his manhood. Sure, it was a bit…well, let's be frank,  a lot larger than a normal penis, but he thought she should at least have the decency to ASK him before she blew him, so he could enjoy it? He sighed angrily and slipped his pale body into the water, sighing happily as the warm water caressed his skin. He always loved his baths. They were so relaxing. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, letting his body sink into the tub as he began to drift off…

            "Nyaaao!"

            Sadako dumped flour into a bowl, the powder flying everywhere as she cackled evilly. "This is gonna be the bestest cake Sesshy has ever had!" she sniggered. She dumped a few eggs in the bowl, shells still intact, and mashed it down with her palm. The yolks spurted out and the liquids erupted over her face. Sadako frowned and shook her head. "Dammit." She the poured milk sloppily into the mix, sloshing it around some before shoving it into a high-temperature oven. That should be good enough. She wasn't a professional cook, but she had watched people before. Eggs, flour, and milk. That's all it took to make a cake, right? She smiled and clapped her hands together.

            "Now… for the present…" she snickered and flipped off to the closet where the box was held. She picked it up and cackled, looking at it lovingly. "Sesshy, you are going to LOVE me for this!" she cried out happily. She stuck it in another box and tied it up with a red ribbon, her tail and ears twitching excitedly.

            Sesshoumaru, meanwhile, was running soap over his body, his hair already washed. He always got the hard part over with first. Having about, what, five feet of hair wasn't exactly easy to upkeep. He sighed contently as picked up his leg and slid the soap over it. His mind kept returning the same recurring thought. Today was his birthday. He was going to be… well, he couldn't really remember. He knew he was pretty old, though, much older than an average human's age. He smoothed soap over his face and immediately splashed his face with water, taking a deep breath after he did so. He also knew that he looked pretty damn good for his age as well. His thousands of fangirls proved that. He smirked, and licked his lips slyly.

I'_If only they could see me now…'_ /I

He dripped soap on his left hand and slid it over his long, limp penis, letting out a gentle moan as his soft hand caressed the tender skin. A sexual thought crossed his mind. Sadako sucked his cock last night. Immediately his groin began to burn with a familiar longing, and he looked at his manhood, already swelling. He sighed and shook his head, there was a bad part about being able to please women easily… but his thoughts were cut off by a high-pitched squeal.

"Sesshou-chan! Just to let you know, since this is a BIRTHDAY celebration, you have to be in your BIRTHDAY suit!"

Sesshoumaru frowned and called back, "Will you be in yours?"

"Of course not, dumbass, it's not my birthday! Now get your sexy naked ass down here!"

He grunted and stood up, his body dripping with water. No use getting changed, then. He looked down at his cock, which was now fully erect, and throbbing. Once sex entered his mind, it didn't leave. His wet, soapy hand was still on it, moving back and forth gently, causing pleasure to race through his body as he imagined Sadako, placing her mouth on his…

"Give me a sex, err, second, Sadako! I'll be down… soon…oh, Gods, yes…"

Sadako shook her head and pulled the cake out of the oven. Well, well, it was CALLED a cake, but it looked more like a human had gotten its ass kicked after having it's bones removed. And blood. And intestines. And other such things. Either way, she dumped it on a platter and immediately smothered it with red icing, then wrote in cursive letters with the white icing applicator 'Happy Birthday Fluffy.' She cackled. He hated that nickname. She shrugged and snickered. The present would make up for the anger he would feel over that. Sadako placed the present neatly to the cake and sat down, listening intently for footsteps.

In a few minutes, Sesshoumaru sauntered into the kitchen, licking his left hand, his groin red, and he sat down in front of the cake. Sadako giggled and then smiled.

"Is this my cake?" he asked, clearly unimpressed. He noticed it was addressed to "Fluffy" and he frowned.

"Yep! For my big…uh… however-old-you-are old boy!"

"Lovely," he sighed, and stuck a finger into the cake, pulling out a piece. He shoved it into his mouth cautiously. His amber eyes suddenly widened and he forced a smile as the vile taste of the cake infested his mouth. He swallowed it, his eyes watering, and managed to choke out, "It's wonderful, angel. I love it." He placed his arm on the table, and suddenly he sneezed, loudly, almost obnoxiously. His arm, caused sudden movement by the sneeze, shoved the cake off the table, onto the ground. The cake fell and made a clean 'splat' sound, a crusty egg yolk becoming revealed as it broke apart. "Oh, my. That's a shame. I'm sorry, little one, I'm sure you worked very hard on it."

"Yes… I did…" Sadako whimpered, looking at her destroyed creation on the ground. She shrugged and then giggled. "Oh well. Jaken can have it. Now open your present!!"

Sesshoumaru nodded and sighed, picking up the present and scraping open the box with his nails. "What is it?" he asked, disinterested as his head rested on his hand.

"Well you have to finish opening it to see! There's another box. It's inside that," she smiled, giggling insanely as Sesshoumaru opened the second box. He reached inside, and when he did, his eyes widened. He felt around for a moment before pulling the object out, and he looked at Sadako, cocking an eyebrow. She only grinned.

"What is this?" he asked, holding the object up to his eyes. It was a cylindrical object, probably about eight inches, with one rounded end and one end with a knob on it. It was a rubbery-plastic, and had bumps along the length of it. It confused him deeply, never before had he seen such an odd object. It reminded him of…

"Sesshou-chan, are you telling me you don't recognize a DILDO when you see one?!" Sadako cried happily.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened and he immediately dropped the object as if it were some kind of cursed talisman. It rolled onto the ground into the cake, and stopped there. He shuddered and shouted, "What the Hell!? Why did you get me a dildo, Sadako?!"

Sadako grinned evilly and picked up the dildo from the ground, narrowing her eyes at the Demon Lord of the Western Lands as she licked it clean of cake.

Sesshoumaru grimaced.

"Oh. Fuck."

Pointless and stupid and horribly written. DO NOT REVIEW. IT SUCKS. I'M SURPRISED YOU'RE EVEN THIS FAR.


End file.
